St Gabriel Windows

St Gabriel Windows
Photocopy c. 2013 Jamie Laubacher

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Time, precious Time

The last couple decades of my life have been spent in the child bearing - nursing cycle. Car seats, lactating, nursing schedules, juggling infants with book lessons. Along with home schooling, time for mom has been at a minimum.  And I don't mean leisure time;  I mean just self-care time.  I use to say, "all I need is 10 minutes in the bathroom, morning, noon and night," and it was very much true, it was truly all I could get!  With the busyness of a family, caring for them 24 hours a day in all ways -- educationally, spiritually, physically....there has been little time for primping or simply soaking in a tub!   I told my hair dresser, if my hair takes longer than 5 minutes to do, can't have it!  

Fast forward to the last year and half:  I was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune liver disorder. I was plunged into a hectic sleep schedule and bursts of energy at inopportune times (and sleepless nights) due to medications.  What do you do at the wee hours of the morning after you've read every book, listened to every audio book while researched your family tree to the umpteenth power, done every digital crossword puzzle....and TV is not your thing?  Well, take a nice long hot shower with delicious shower gels!! Sure! This is what happened....I found myself completely awake with energy and also discontented at hours I would normally have been dozing through.  Time for myself suddenly appeared!  I had time to actually eat my breakfast slowly and quietly and not have to be interrupted to get something for someone slowly as I wanted.....Time to bathe and shower and use a hair mask (I have not deep conditioned my hair in decades!) without someone trying to get into the bathroom, or needing something.   To say the least I am not a hair or make-up person - I just want to get it on and done with.  But to actually have time to not rush through my shower, or while putting on my clothes, was really amazing and a wonderful thing in the life of a mom of mostly guys, who seriously hog the bathroom.  My men take more time in the bathroom then I ever have, even as a teen girl!  

I am more gentle, less rushed on myself.  This has calmed me down.  It has been therapy.  I know it was not available to me....this luxury of years past and I did not have any time to myself that's for sure.  When I thought I might have time to myself, my son with OCD permeated my every move, ....his needs and difficulties trumped everything else, including any time I had to spare or could possibly spend on my own.  Those were tough days. 

Now on occasion, I find myself home alone!  

Now I have time.  I appreciate it and I try to use it wisely.  Learning to re-take care of myself physically has helped me to care for myself mentally as well.   

I am happy to say that while I still have challenges facing me (don't we all?) that this last decade, raising a very challenging child has passed by with so many lessons learned and so much gained.  What I thought was lost...was found in a more beautiful and beneficial way. 

Some of my favorite things now that I have time to myself: 
Jamberry Nail Wraps (my nails never looked so good and have stayed so healthy) 
Perfectly Posh Products (love their hand creams and body soaps which last forever, non-drying!) 
Clarins  (love their lipsticks - expensive, so I don't buy a lot, but so very good) 
Clinique (I've used this line since I was a teen, and it never disappoints - the Chubby in the Nude Foundation Stick is just right for a little touch up without looking made up - and the Dramatically Different Moisturizer for very dry skin in a jar is just what I need for really dry sensitive skin due to medications). 

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