St Gabriel Windows

St Gabriel Windows
Photocopy c. 2013 Jamie Laubacher

Monday, December 31, 2012

A year of revelations…

I can’t say 2012 has been my best or favorite year.  More than anything it has been a year of “revelations”.  Many revelations…from the most minor to the most extreme or amazing ones.  These revelations didn’t exactly bring me joy or happiness…they did bring knowledge and closure in a few cases. 

Biggest revelation: …. my contacting the orphanage my father and his younger brother spent a few years in before being fostered out….I wrote for my father’s orphan records. They were so revealing.  It confirmed so many things I wondered about growing up. The evidence was so concrete: my father was 10 years old, needed to have his tonsils out, but was otherwise in good health.

Through my family research I was able to connect with cousins I’d never met, and talk through family histories.  It’s been so rewarding. 

Greatest find:  Where my father’s Burg side of the family came from, and more filling out of his mother’s side of the family tree with many additional relatives deep into Germany.  This pleased his cousin Mary who could never get that far.  So 2012 was an excellent year for her!

My husband and I celebrated 24 years of marriage;

We became God parents to a wonderful little baby boy, Evan;

My son on the autism spectrum made his sacraments;

I was asked to be a Confirmation sponsor, which warms my heart;

My son with anxiety drove with us all the way to Pennsylvania for a big church wedding and incredibly big reception…….and survived (and 2012 has found him doing the best he’s done in the last three years of suffering OCD/anxiety).  There is hope.

My father in law celebrated his 91st birthday.

We saw many aged aunts pass on….

We had to take out an equity line loan to help meet tuition and other costs that our 1 income just can’t bridge.  Financially it has been the biggest thing we have done since our home was paid for many years ago. 

I’ve seen many of my stay at home mom friends go to work for the first time in many years of raising children.

We continue to home school and live sacrificially.  Sometimes that feels right and good.  Sometimes that feels very uncomfortable.  I will have another 9th grader to school this new year ahead.

In 2012, I’ve had to make some very hard decisions and say some very difficult things to people that needed to be said.  More so this year than other years.  I don’t take these things lightly.  And it’s not pleasant to be shunned or ignored as if I don’t exist or my children no longer do, after having to call someone out on something.  Still, some things can not be let go in a responsible world.

2012 has also seen my most weight gain.  Not sure why, only I can suppose it’s thyroid related.  Ever since I was put on thyroid meds, my weight has slowly crept upward.  I’ve tried to lose and it seems not to budge. 

I discovered and shared Arbonne products with my friends – it was so refreshing to have something in my home, when I don’t get out much.

I also discovered Doctor Who!

And so it goes with 2012.

What am I hoping for 2013?  Superficially…to lose weight and gain some more confidence back.  Deeply, that my children will get it together a little better than the year before and find their way in life a little more clear.  My oldest ones will be walking away from college with some serious knowledge and many many talents and potentialities to pursue and several new friends.  I think it will take a few years for their educations to pan out into their fields.  That’s okay.  They are hard workers and will work hard at smaller job opportunities while finding their way to their nitches.  To just see how great they have done academically, in no easy majors or minors (i.e. daughter had straight A’s this semester!)…is truly satisfying. 

However bittersweet…Adieu 2012…we shall never meet again and maybe in some ways that’s a good thing!

God bless +


Cay Gibson said...

I enjoyed your honesty more than you'll ever know, Denise. Thanks for sharing. I hope and pray 2013 brings you peace and happiness. :)

Home School Mom: Denise said...

Thank you Cay! God bless you with a wonderful new year ahead..with that sweet grandbaby!