St Gabriel Windows

St Gabriel Windows
Photocopy c. 2013 Jamie Laubacher

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Dear Lord, I have a son who is having a very hard time growing up.  He is making himself miserable and his family members miserable nearly every day; he is on medication and it has cut the miserable moments more than in half, but the ones that arise are very acute and draining.  Many days he is an emotional mess from morning to night…..bemoaning this and that, in tears, and being disappointed far too easily and not getting over it.  Today was an especially difficult day ……a reminder that he has a long ways to go and I don’t even know sometimes how to respond to him.  If you take him seriously and attempt to respond seriously, he finds fault, if you sympathize he grows worse, and if you act like you are ignoring it, it seems to go on longer and he is more sensitive than ever….obviously we can’t win. 

I know I’m not the only mother on the planet with a difficult child and I’m sure in time it may resolve….this is my prayer…that it may resolve.  In the meantime, maybe meaning several years…..please grant me the strength, the words, the wisdom and the patience to work through it….yet   And help to restore my resilience and spirit that I can have some joy in each day, even if very small and fleeting, and that by some miracle this son will change for the better and grow into a happy, healthy and productive young man. 

Thank you for listening. 

A stressed out Mom


Megan@TrueDaughter said...

He'll get there, Denise, he really will. I know it has to be so hard. I really wish I could encourage you to RUN once in a while. Not for long, but long enough to maintain your sanity. I don't know how you do it, I really don't. In the meantime, I will keep praying for you, for the boy, your whole family, and bring you booze and chocolate when needed. Can I bring some over tomorrow? I still have some of my chocolate stash, and baileys goes really nice in that coffee you are always swigging!Love ya, I am here, if you want to yell at someone, you can yell at me. Can be therapeutic!

Cay Gibson said...

Praying...praying...praying...from a mon who has been there.

Patti Maguire Armstrong said...

I'll be praying for your. If God brings you to it, he will bring ou through it.

Home School Mom: Denise said...

Thank you ladies. He just can not grow up fast enough for me...but, I don't want him to grow up in haste without the maturity he needs either. He is so good overall, but yet his anxiety disorder rules his life and makes it very hard. He sees his therapist today so it will take pretty much everything out of him...anticipating it, driving there...the session, and home's rare he doesn't meltdown after these trips. I was tired yesterday for sure..and it was and is certainly my prayer from the deepest recesses of my heart. Thank you for the prayers and support. Megan, I still have chocolate and Baileys here :)..but thank you! Bless you!