Sunday, April 01, 2012
Wow. Nightmares. I hate when that happens. It's a sure sign for me of stress, stress. stress. Lost somewhere and trying to follow a path that is blocked at every turn...answering a phone and realizing it's going to be one of my children crying on the other end, mommy come home!..where are you!? *sigh*
One of my fears at this point in my life is that something will happen to me that will separate me from my children, especially my two younger special needs ones. It weighs heavy on my heart at times and when I am feeling, not so great, overwhelmed or fatigued or having some health issue - as the case is now -- my anxiety appears in my dreams...and near sleepless nights. Tossing and turning, waking up in between each bad dream.
My year in review has been one of mixed emotions, many doubts and fears, and a struggle to balance my daily life and learning environment with my special needs sons, carting them to therapies; financial stresses and trying to keep a normal comfortable functioning life for the whole family of other neuro-typical young adults and adults.....
Today, as I attend church I hope to lay this burden of anxiety, doubt and helplessness before the Lord and ask for some relief, healing, comfort. I need some quiet moments of meditation and as we approach Holy Week, I need the spiritual connections to soothe me over.